The language with which we communicate is full of meaning. Everything I say, whether out loud, with gestures or inwardly, has a charge that is directly proportional to the potential for realization. How is this?
It’s about transforming everything you think or say into a mandate for it to happen that way. Since many people are used to thinking and saying what they want in a negative way, that is the result they get.
All people have within them what can be called the meta-program of success, an unstoppable force that can project your best feeling, doing and knowing into the world, to achieve the results you desire. What happens is that only 5 to 10% of the world’s population explores and exploits this force; so all the rest, the vast majority, live on dreams that do not lead to action.
The paradigm that promotes that of visualizing it in detail and how it happens works only if you stay on target. Thinking about it, fantasizing about it, imagining it does not produce the result in the concrete, although that original creative emotion is an important impulse from the conceptual point of view.
What really makes things happen is to get moving and make them happen.
The vocabulary of people who are either stuck saying they want change (and don’t get it), or who feel totally unmotivated, reflects an inner state that is what they will get as a real experience in their lives.
For example: the more you complain, the fewer solutions; the more you resist something, the more you attract what you don’t want; you fantasize about a life with certain possibilities, and you envy those who have already achieved it. These are negative magnets that don’t allow you to make that cynical leap, a leap in quality towards the qualities of infinite possibilities that open up.
A strategic step is to start changing your internal and external language. By doing so, you change the information circuitry of the brain, and help it generate new impulses that will produce your openness to new ways of living the human experience.
Of course, you need to be strong, persistent and persevering to achieve this, as it is an exercise of constant observation and correction as you go along. Once you incorporate this mental rewiring, you begin to see the world with different eyes, and you join the five to ten percent of people who go after their goals, learn, rehearse, make mistakes, get up and move on.
One of the most limiting conditions is that of speaking (inwards and outwards) with obtuse, closed thoughts and without the possibility of generating significant change.
The problem lies in the fact that people respond automatically and without prior reflection, based on pre-existing behaviours or experiences, which form a paradigm (something that you are not encouraged to challenge, because, even though it does not work for you, you think it is real and natural for you).
Imagine that you want to drink water; you tell yourself and your friends: I’m so thirsty! You are right in front of a tap; you know that it has what you need to quench your thirst; however, you keep watching it; you will even take a picture of it for your favorite social network posing next to it! Did you quench your thirst? No. What could you have done? Turn on the tap, drink water, turn it off. And continued on your way. It’s that simple.
The paradox is that most people focus on what they do NOT want and all the good excuses they have for not moving from where they are. You can’t change who you don’t want to change yourself.
These four expressions that you probably say very often are the same as your image in front of the tap, without moving or taking action: they will leave you thirsty and perhaps fantasizing about how good anything could have been, if you had encouraged yourself to move forward.
I invite you to review them; I propose, in each one, a specific exercise, simple and free: I call it the antidote. If you commit yourself to practice it, you will start to change that limiting paradigm for other constructive and actionable ones:
Antdoto: Take a SWOT.
Take a blank sheet of paper, and divide it into four quadrants, where you write down the following instructions:
- STRENGTHS (top left) and OPPORTUNITIES (top right)
- WEAKNESSES (bottom left) and THREATS (right)
In STRENGTHS you will make an exhaustive list of all your distinctive features, training, preparation, trades, those things in which you are very good and outstanding. Also writing cul is your differential value.
OPPORTUNITIES: here you write those gaps where you think you can insert yourself; that differential that you can contribute from your strengths; and also where you will feel fulfilled and reaching an achievement that is significant for you.
WEAKNESSES: here is all that you already know: the no’s that you use as excuses and that you put before almost everything (for the moment). Do you need to connect with someone in particular, etc.
THREATS: In this space write down your vision of what could be risky to carry out your strengths and the opportunities you have detected, even if you have overcome your weaknesses.
Once you have done this, choose a single concrete action that is specific to your WEAKNESSES – focusing on one of your STRENGTHS and one of your OPPORTUNITIES -, on which you commit yourself to focus during the next 33 days, day and night; and to put it into action with small, microscopic steps.
The da 34 observes the result if you do it conscientiously.
Antdoto: Discover your DON.
We all come into the world with a special gift, that which distinguishes us and makes us unique. People are all different, and, from a broad concept, we can make distinctive contributions if we are clear about our purpose in life and our legacy – that which we will leave behind when we leave in this physical form.
The gift is something that resonates very deeply with you; possibly it is an aspect that you have carried since you have been conscious, usually since childhood; perhaps it is so hidden that you cannot quickly recognize it.
In this exercise, it is important that you take a notebook dedicated only to this, and that you cut out photos from newspapers and magazines that relate exclusively to aspects of you that you like and that differentiate you from others. That hobby that makes you not take up again; that sport you felt passionate about; those songs that make you vibrate; anything can connect you with the essence of your gift.
If we had to draw the DON it could be a fingerprint: unique, unrepeatable.
This exercise consists of writing about what you like to do; that which distinguishes you; that which makes you happy and gives you great pleasure. Make a long list of how you can bring that into the present day of your life, in detail. The invitation is for you to write at least 100, 500, 1000 concrete things, and at the same time, how your inner emotional state would be if you made them concrete.
Once you have intuited or recognized it, every time the phrase No s appears in words or thoughts, connect it immediately with the DON you have approached by exercising. Imagine yourself in that place and space, the space of your personal gift and think, feel and vibrate in how it would express that same reaction if your GIFT had a voice and the power of speech.
Observe the changes and practice them daily for at least four weeks in a row.
Antdoto: Make a MENTAL MAP
There are many ways to do mind mapping, an excellent tool for conceptualizing scattered ideas, focusing and making decisions.
Here I propose that you start by writing something that, you intuit, may be a probable path in that not s qua s to do so unspecified: there is always an aspect, a first intuitive step. Let yourself be carried away by that hunch, however far it may seem.
Place that word in the center of a large sheet of paper. The left is the logical and rational territory, the mental, the calculations, the probabilities, the hard thinking (left hemisphere of the brain). The right, the emotional territory, soft; communication, empathy, love, feelings, communication (right hemisphere).
This exercise consists of releasing your creative potential and turning everything you can think of into words; it includes many colors, and uses lines, arrows and connectors to link the left with the right.
Dedicate a few hours to do it conscientiously, letting everything you have inside you that you have not known how to manifest.
Then look at the result. Become aware of how very rational ideas are connected with softness.
When your limiting sentence bursts in, think about this exercise and all the possible combinations to respond to that which previously immobilized you or generated doubts. Choose a path and get into action starting with a first step, however small.
Antdoto: The list of IMPOSSIBLE
This exercise is extremely practical and simple: when the thought of not being able to do anything strikes you, immediately take a pencil and paper and start to turn over in free writing format (the first thing that comes to your mind) the list of the IMPOSSIBLE things you achieved in the past, however small (from preparing a fried egg to giving birth to a child, or getting a job, overcoming a challenge of any kind, etc.). In other words, you made them POSSIBLE.
By checking those benchmarks in the past, you cannot be diminished by the evidence of the can. And from there, you act completely differently.
Antidote: Make an A to Z matrix (positive reprogramming)
In this case, the limiting phrase contains a great contradiction: the affirmative appears, s, followed by the but which cancels out all the previous. That is to say, you are at a point of no return and no possible action. A dead end.
The next time you find yourself saying S, but, take your memory aid that you will do on a card or small piece of paper, where you will draw a series of long dashes on about five long lines (as if to place words symbolically; they will be spaces to fill in). At the beginning is the letter A and at the end is the letter Z.
To represent the fact that you are saying s in some aspect; the middle, to be the but; and the final Z, the consequence of your unconscious mental process.
Let’s take as an example that you are invited tonight to eat Chinese food, something new for you. Your answer will be S, but.
The exercise could be like that. (letter A) S, LET’S EAT CHINESE FOOD. BUT – and here you start to complete those long scripts, for example > HOW I NEVER TREAT CHINESE FOOD I’M FEAREDED. AND IF I GET INTOXIC (you take the last word) I GET SICK. AND IF I GET SICK I HAVE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR. AND IF I GO TO THE DOCTOR HE’LL HAVE ME COMMITTED. AND IF I GO TO THE DOCTOR HE’S GOING TO ADMIT ME AND IF I CONTRACT THE VIRUS (let’s go to Z) I WILL DIE.
And you summarize: So, IF WE GO TO EAT CHINESE FOOD I’M GOING TO DIE
To look at it in this way is completely absurd; there is no logic in this scheme of thinking, although, I must warn you, that is how it works in the unconscious in many people.
In this way, you can denature something unconscious, taking it to a very unreal plane, to choose in a better way.
Now let’s explore this exercise in positive rather than S, but in automatic:
(letter A) S, LET’S HAVE CHINESE FOOD. I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT – and here you start to complete those long scripts, for example > HOW I NEVER TAST CHINESE FOOD I ASK YOU IF YOU CAN GUIDE ME. IF YOU GUIDE ME (take the last word) LEARN SOMETHING NEW. IF I LEARN SOMETHING NEW, I EXPAND MY CULINARY KNOWLEDGE. AND IF I EXPAND MY KNOWLEDGE, I FEEL THAT I AM GROWING. SO WHEN I FEEL THAT I AM GROWING BY LEARNING SOMETHING NEW (let’s go to Z) I WILL ENJOY THIS NEW EXPERIENCE.
And summaries: So, IF WE GO TO EAT CHINESE FOOD I WILL ENJOY THIS NEW EXPERIENCE.
If you practice it enough, you will incorporate this mechanism spontaneously, completely changing the level of concrete results in your life.
Facilitator and Master Coach specialized in CEOs, top management, professionals and teams; Mentor; professional communicator; international speaker; author of 30 books. LinkedIn Top Voices Latin America 2019.